My personal tribute to Beethoven

So this last week has been a little rough, so far. My research project was due on Wednesday, and I was stressing out. STRESSING OUT. I don't honestly know if I did my best. I certainly gave it a good shot, though. The subject of my research project was Musical Composers of the Romantic Period. My choice. I picked it. I wanted to learn about and show how things in the lives of the composers influenced and/or affected their music. I learned a TON about several composers, but the one I really connected with was Beethoven. 

Whenever I used to think about Beethoven, it was always like, "Yeah, that guy who was deaf and a little crazy and wrote Ode to Joy. Cool beans." But as I read about him more and more, I began to understand him. Here's a passage from a book, Lives of the Musicians: Good Times, Bad Times, and What the Neighbors Thought:

The saddest thing about Beethoven's life was his gradual deafness, beginning in his late twenties. But he was used to writing music he couldn't hear. As a child he had been too young to play the compositions he wrote. As his hearing grew worse and worse, he lived inside his head more than ever and kept on writing music with no loss of energy. He broke strings on his piano trying to pound loud enough so that he could hear the notes. Frustration made him more moody, even at times suicidal.

I'd read that passage several times during the course of researching for my paper, but as I was actually writing the paper, it hit me a lot harder than normal. 

Music is my life. It's my passion. It calms me. When I'm stressed out or I can't think straight, I go play Bach's Inventions, and the repetitive notes and complex fingering gives me something to focus on so I can think. When I'm sad or emotional I might play Chopin's Nocturnes. Sometimes when I feel happy or kind of silly, I play Princess and the Frog music and Sydney and I sing 'Almost There' at the top of our lungs. I am connected to music. Imagine how much more connected Beethoven was. 

Beethoven did not have an easy life. His dad was an alcoholic who humiliated himself at court and was very abusive to Beethoven. When Beethoven was older, he fell out with many of his friends, including the prince himself, whom he felt treated him like nothing but an accessory to his wealth and societal stature. He also was rejected by every woman he loved. The only thing that never failed him was his music. But of course he lost his hearing in his twenties, and then even his music was gone. He said, "Music is like a dream I cannot hear." So when I read that part about him playing the piano, and pounding so hard that the strings broke, I guess I finally understood. Beethoven wasn't just a great musical talent. He was broken, but he was amazing. And he managed to endure the devastation of losing his hearing, his connection, his ability to experience music fully. In my opinion, that's what makes him so great.

Sagerific